This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
