Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
