I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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