We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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