And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
