found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
