I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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