Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
