I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
