I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
