Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We need a shit load of segways right now
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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