A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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