I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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