we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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