it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
