fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
