and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My dick has a subreddit
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
