I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
