i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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