She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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