Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
