You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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