i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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