As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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