I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girls should come with a carfax report
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
