It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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