It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize