Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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