dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
