yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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