i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
