how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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