Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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