i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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