Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize