I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
