The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
