Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
