I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
