That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
