did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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