Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
