I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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