and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize