your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
