Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
