I want to have your abortion
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
