I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
ok first of all what the fuck
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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