Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
