Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
