i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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