Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
