your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
