i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
