How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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