You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
