I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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