I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
