He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
