I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize