Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
