Quick, to the slutcave!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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